Friday, September 2, 2011
just thinking...
I lay awake at night thinking "nothing cool ever happens to me" I guess what I am really thinking is "I wish I could have another baby." I love my kids and sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I could handle another little one. I can't separate if it's a selfish need or if I am filling some void. I hear a baby crying once in a while,but not as much as I used to. The last thing I want is to take time and attention away from Mesa. I suppose I just wish I was capable and tough enough to do it. This week I have taken on my new calling as Primary President, finished writing the primary program, prepared a lesson for sharing time and helped plan a baptism. I think the Lord, for the time, has given me a few more little bodies to care for.
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5 comments:
I struggle with a similar feeling ALL the time. I fool myself out of making that decision by saying "it isn't the right time yet." I just keep thinking that I will do my best to turn it over to the Lord when I think it is time to consider it. The thing that gets me though is that the idea is there, in my head, and what if some little spirit is on the other side hoping and hoping that I make the right choice? Tough call. . . really tough call. I really hope that I am able to separate my anxiety/practicality/desire to have a girl (but certainly wouldn't turn away another boy) from the true prompting of the Spirit when the time comes. YIKES!
You are the "cool" that happens to people around you. Your heart and devotion to the Primary kids and your kids is more valuable than a perfect lesson. Sure love ya gobs Dar!
Enjoy your new little bodies to care for. I am sure you will do a great job. I am sure something cool is right around the corner!
The fact that I am coming in November will be the coolest thing ever! :) I'm sure you have already whipped the Primary into shape and I have NO doubt you will do a GREAT job. Wish I could be around to see you in action. Lots of love from Texas! xoxo
I dont think those feelings ever go away. We're built with a natural desire to create. You are amazing, congrats on your calling! Looking forward to dinner in a few weeks!
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