Happy New Years.....uggh!

So in a nutshell, I am not starting off this new year on the right foot. Last Friday I had an allergic reaction to an unknown enemy contained in a cocktail of heartburn medications. I have never had heartburn before and wasn't sure what to take. So I woke up in the morning with my tongue the size of an orange and my eyelids swollen. I was getting a little nervous, imagining the worst, that it would creep down into my throat and cut off my air way (not to be dramatic). I walked into the community care and the nurses came running with huge needles full of thick muscle aching steroids. I was ordered to stay for a while to make sure I wasn't going to get any worse. So I limped out of the office silently wishing that I could go home and sleep it off. I did, thanks to a fabulous husband who just let me lay in bed. In the meantime our sweet Mesa had been throwing up for about 4 days and I started to feel desperate to see her beautiful smile again. We bundled up and took the dreaded 8 minute drive to the Emergency Room. Mesa really looked terrible despite my efforts to keep her hydrated. I was so grateful that day for the ER doctor who attended to her. He felt she was in pain and he was right. He ordered for her to have some morphine. He showed me the xray and said knew how I was feeling because he had a son with cerebral palsy who died at the age of 5. Strangely that comforted me for a bit. She fell asleep long enough to get a picture of her abdomen and discovered she had a bowel blockage and it was causing her to throw up. They were sending her upstairs to admit her and resolve it. Things went fine and we left Wednesday morning, both of us crying from exhaustion and happiness to leave that place. Just when I think I am doing great on my own, I get a reminder that there is someone else in charge and that life experiences are essential. I look at my beautiful girl and wonder how long she is meant to be on this earth. When she isn't here, there is a noticeable emptiness. The only thing that would really make her smile is when I mentioned that daddy loved her and wanted her to come home. Sitting here I am quite relieved it's all behind us.